How to Start Loving Yourself ?
Perhaps when you read the blog title, you asked yourself, “What do you mean by loving yourself?” People, songs, or quotes discuss self-love, but what does it mean? Is there a specific way we should treat ourselves? Can this love change our perspective on life?
Well, let me tell you that simple actions in our daily lives can be a form of self-love:
- Taking care of your body is a form of self-love
- Taking care of your mental health is a form of self-love
- Believing in yourself, even if your closest people advise you to give up, is a form of self-love
- Cutting off toxic relationships from your life is a form of self-love
- Leaving a place or saying no when you have to is a form of self-love
- Buying yourself things is a form of self-love
You don’t wake up one random morning and find yourself living a happy life, feeling good in your body, and loving yourself.
Loving yourself is a process; it took me some time to understand and feel it.
It’s a decision you must make because no one can make you love yourself if you don’t choose to do it.
The key to start is Awareness.
Awareness of what? Of your situation, of what’s surrounding you.
1- How do we start being aware?
It’s not as complicated as you may think. Sit alone in a quiet place and start digging inside your mind. Find the source of your problem that makes you uncomfortable.
This awareness also includes understanding that you can’t change the people around you but can change yourself. You are not responsible for fixing others’ behavior or lives; you are only responsible for yourself. You have to be aware that your feelings are real, too; they matter, too.
2- Forgive yourself and accept your failures.
Once you realize what is the source of your pain, you start blaming yourself. We sometimes forget that we are only human and all make small or big mistakes.
Everyone avoids making mistakes in their lives, and when it happens, we only focus on the pain and regret that comes after. But we never actually talk about the consciousness and growth we gain after every lousy experience.
Everything we go through in this life teaches us many things about ourselves. Not only does the way we handle our problems change, but our vision towards challenges also changes, and somehow, we learn how to endure it.
It doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes anymore; you will, again, and you will learn from it again.
Don’t be ashamed of your failures; perhaps failing was what you needed to start your way fresh and correctly. At some point, you will realize that you would never have become the person you are today if you hadn’t experienced your failures.
3- Choose what’s right for you.
Sometimes, leaving someone or leaving a place can be so painful. But what’s more painful than seeing yourself drowning in sadness and not being able to handle it?
We care so much about others that we give them all we have of love, passion, and energy until we realize there’s nothing left for ourselves. We ignore our feelings, prioritize those of others, and call it love. I’m not talking here only about love relationships; I’m talking about the love in every relationship we build with people around us, whether it’s a friendship or a work relationship.
If you’re not happy somewhere or with someone, leave. You will never find peace in the same place you lost it. And once you create boundaries with people and yourself, it becomes easier to say no when you have to.
So, if you don’t like something, say it; and if you want to refuse something, do it.
4- Believe in yourself.
Sometimes, our path gets darker, and every person you run to tells you to quit or take another path, but a voice inside you tells you not to give up, that it’s the right path; it just needs time and patience. Trust me, listen to that voice.
We are responsible for our actions, we know our capacities, so if we want to do something, we can.
Please don’t compare yourself to others, you don’t know the challenges they have been through before getting what they have.
There’s no way without obstacles and challenges. So don’t believe that failure is a reflection of your value. You can rewrite your story no matter what age you are, and no matter how many mistakes you made.
5- Be kind to yourself.
Just like you are kind to your friends when they ask for comfort, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself gently, and spoil yourself: buy yourself clothes, food, books, games, whatever will make you feel joyful. Enjoy your own company, and stop judging yourself for every mistake you make. Give yourself time for acceptance, and give yourself another chance to try again.
Look after your body, it’s only yours temporarily, so show it appreciation and stay healthy.
Allow yourself to new beginnings, because we all deserve a fresh start, and life never stops in every loss.
I hope this post makes you realize how self-love can reflect on our daily life, whether is about the relationship with our body and soul, or the relationships we build with people around us.
Let me know what you think in the comments.